Hello! My name is Luís Tinoco
and at this very moment I have decided to die.
That's right, the second I blink... now.
Why? You'll figure it out.
It's not easy, wanting to do it is not enough!
To die of your own accord takes courage, lots of it.
By now you must be thinking...
if this guy is the narrator, then it's because he didn't die?!
But when the story ends someone is going to say:
it's a shame the ending is so sad.
That's Mónica. I do her anytime I want to.
I love you so much.
You know what? I'm not in the mood today.
Lately I've been kind of worried.
You gotta pay like the rest of them, baby.
This is the moment I most fear.
To be alone and fall asleep like this,
feeling the other side of the bed getting cold...
Commissioned Suicide
It's strange, being alone all the time.
Nothing moves around you,
and you know that if anything is out of place it's your fault!
There is only one brand for every product,
because you only buy the things you like.
And you cook just for yourself.
Another thing you always know when you live by yourself
is that you have to be the one to answer the phone or the door.
Because it's always for you.
I bet it's the mailman.
I'd forgotten today was Monday, Concepção.
Hello?
Hello!
Yes...
Is this Luís? Hello!
Hello...
Hello Luís! This is Rute.
Hello.
So tell me, how are you feeling today?
Who is this?
I told you.
But I don't know anyone called Rute.
Well now you do.
I work for Exit, and your number has just been selected.
You have just won a first date, free of charge!!
Do you do house calls?
Hello.
I came... to meet Rute.
And you are...?
Luís Tinoco. Yes.
Wait just a moment, all right?
Yes...
Thank you.
Excuse me...
Yes...
Are all these people here for Rute?
Wait just a little while longer, ok?
When I call your name, go right on up to the fourth floor.
Thank you.
I'm Mr. Cruz Morte, nice to meet you.
Do you have any children?
No.
Married?
No.
Debts?
No.
Have you ever had a homossexual experience?
I'm sorry... I don't quite get the relevance of all these questions.
I am acting in both mine and EXIT's best interest.
I'm just trying to make sure you're not wasting my time!
I'm the one wasting my time.
When was the last time you made love?
Yesterday.
Love!!
The last time you had dinner with your family?
The last time you received a phone call from a friend?
EXIT is here to help you! To help you find a way out.
Oh really?
Be honest with me, Tinoco...
Have you ever thought of ending your own life?
What about Rute?
So what went wrong? Not enough guts?
Please remember I am here to help you!
Good evening! Welcome!
Please take a look at our menu.
I can't believe we're here.
You're so sweet for bringing me to these places.
Look at the prices, how fancy! Every dish has at least six words!
I love you so much!
I'm sorry, did you say anything?
No, nothing.
Yes you did.
No I didn't.
Go on, just say it, don't be shy!
I said that I love you.
And it's been ten years to the day that I fell in love with you.
But was she your girlfriend?
No.
Was she your wife?
If you let me go on with my story, you might just understand.
So, what will it be?
I know what happened and I fully understand, Tinoco.
You want to die because the dinner didn't go very well
and she doesn't love you back.
Calm down, take it easy, Tinoco.
It's a reason like any other.
Most of my clients come to me for similar reasons.
You're no different from them.
Read this carefully and then sign.
Read it carefully! And then sign.
Are you a lawyer, Cruz Morte?
MR. Cruz Morte.
Are you a lawyer?
I am your last friend.
According to what's written here, if I decide to stay alive,
I'll have to pay double the amount in damages.
I have to make sure you're not here to waste my time.
So I'm paying you to die?
EXIT assures a most pleasant death in accordance with the client's profile.
As for me, I am here to prepare your suicide
and assist you till the last second.
When? Now?
No.
Three business days from today.
Monday.
Because there's a weekend coming up.
That way you still have 5 days to get yourself organized.
It's like going on a trip!
Does it hurt?
No.
Could it be on Tuesday?
Don't leave for tomorrow what you can do today.
Monday at nine a.m.
MONDAY. 9:16 A.M.
Good morning!
I was afraid you'd given up.
Do you have any gas in your car? Then let's take yours.
You won't be needing gas anymore.
So, are you finally going to tell me what you've arranged?
We should wait. You're going to like the spot I chose.
At EXIT, no detail is overlooked.
Ok. So I'm going to like the spot. How about the method?
Above all it has to be dramatic.
It also has to be fast, and, most importantly, infallible.
We can't afford to leave you alive and permanently damaged.
And conscious.
It's like locking yourself in a closet and leaving the key on the outside.
Move it! Hurry! Shoo!
Shoo! Move along!
We're on a tight schedule! Shoo! Shoo!
This is without a doubt a beautiful place to die.
I have arranged everything for an unforgettable farewell.
How dramatic is a hanging?
It's very dramatic.
One dies with passion, with pain, with impact.
Plus it's infallible.
And the person who dies is entitled to one last orgasm!
One last orgasm? Sounds interesting.
And it's even kind of romantic. Let's do it.
Just sign here and we're set!
Your love problems will disappear for ever.
Please, I don't want to have to think about her before I die.
Just the thought of her with someone else...
So she has someone else?
Maybe.
I just don't... don't want to run the risk of...
having to see her one day with someone else.
Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Let's get to work.
Tinoco, there's no reason to be nervous.
If by any chance you change your mind, just give me the thumbs-up.
Up, up, up, up.
And what's that?
It's your goodbye letter.
Tinoco, it was an enormous pleasure to have you as a client.
Remember that what you are doing is the noblest of all human actions.
No other animal does it intentionally!
To choose to die is the supreme affirmation of human liberty.
I once heard about a fish which committed suicide.
Impossible.
One...
Two...
Three!
Hey! What's going on?
Calm down... breathe deeply...
I couldn't... I couldn't... breathe.
I don't understand a single word of what you're saying.
The orgasm... I didn't have one.
Sometimes there are strange incompatibilities
between death and the client.
We should go south.
South? Might I know why? Why not north or northeast?
Relax, Tinoco. We're going south and not to the south.
Because it's close, and it's a spot that worked very well for another customer.
Maybe it's even better this way,
I assure you this will not affect you in any way.
This place is fantastic!
There are clients who would definitely go back there if they could.
How about you, never thought of dying?
Huh?!
Have you ever thought of dying?
Oh!
Sure, but for now I think I can still be useful round here.
I have a family, friends who care about me.
Everyone likes me.
What do you think happens after death?
After death or after life?
After death comes life, after life comes death.
You'll come back, Tinoco,
richer and prettier, with no heartache whatsoever.
I might still be here.
Would you like to hear the rest of my story?
Which one?
The one about the tragic romantic dinner?
Meanwhile things went back to normal.
Conversation started to flow.
I knew it was my chance and I had to make this dinner pleasant.
This magret de canard is excellent!
How's the fish?
Very good, thank you.
And this cheese soufflé is simply divine.
Here, have some of mine.
No thanks.
Go on!
Thank you, Luís, but no.
Just have a little bit.
Luís, I don't want any!
Don't be silly, go ahead.
Didn't you hear me saying I didn't want any? I'm not touching it.
Sorry, but would it kill you to try some? Do it for me.
Luís, I don't want to!!
Is it that hard? Taste it, for me!
Luís, I don't feel like it. I'm not gonna do it, ok?
You won't do it for me?
Hmmm... Delicious! Happy?
Do you know the meaning of sharing, Mariana?
Do you know what? Are you listening?
Do you wanna know something?
The meaning of sharing? Tell me.
I would give up a kidney for you.
Is that your meaning of sharing?
You'd give me a kidney if I needed it? How about both?
Would you do that too?
Now that would definitely mean something!
I would.
So you'd give your life for me?
Definitely.
And in that case, what would you be sharing?
Love.
You're a walking cliché.
The only thing we share, Tinoco,
is the sorrow for having the same parents.
Parents? The same parents? You're brother and sister?
Hang on, not quite.
That's disgusting! Incest, like in novels! How awful!
Our biological fathers are different.
And yet you both have the same mother?
I can understand why you'd want to kill yourself!
No, no, our mothers are different too.
Your mothers are different?
And you're brother and sister?
Yes.
I was born in 1974.
I was a quiet and reasonably pretty baby.
Luísa?
Will you give me a hand?
Didn't you want a child?
It's true.
My parents are kidnappers.
How is that possible?!
It wasn't that bad. At least I had a childhood.
I was loved, in their own way, and was reasonably happy.
Did they ever ask for a ransom?
No! No. That wasn't their intention.
I think my purpose was to keep my mother entertained,
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...
Happy birthday, kiddo!
Happy birthday my darling!
Hey, kiddo, come and give your father a kiss.
What about the cake? Isn't there any cake?
Coming.
Hey sweetie! We have to give the kid a name!
Great, good idea! It's about time.
See, kiddo, you're old enough to have a name! Hmmm...
Listen, how about Afonso?
Ah, that's too monarchical. Orlando!
Rafael! Ah, maybe it's a little sissy.
Jacinto! Irineu...
Soares! Hmm... How about it? Soares!
Soares isn't bad, but it's a little sissy too. Rodolfo!
Rodolfo, Rodolfo. Nah, I don't like it, I don't like it at all.
Tinoco, that's it! Tinoco!
Tinoco, come to your father! Tinoco...
I think I had a difficult childhood.
Complicated, but... I had a childhood.
I grew up, became a teenager, always surrounded by this strange love.
I never felt any fatherly warmth or protection.
I always felt kind of like a pet. Discipline and strictness!
Always afraid, afraid to go wrong!
How many times do I need to tell you:
Tinoco, don't set the alarm clock for the morning, you'll wake your father, huh?
You're right. I'm sorry.
Why do you always do this?
I'll have to do something, it's for your own good.
-Daddy Fernando please... -Come here!
Come on!
Closer!
Daddy Fernando... don't hit me.
Closer! Look at me!
You broke my nose...
Put your head back.
Where are you going this early?
To school.
Ok. Just stay like this for a few minutes and then rinse it with water.
Now go and switch that bloody thing off!
I think I still have neurological problems because of my father's morning mood.
I imagine.
I had a very strict education.
Did you ever think of running away?
What do you think? Huh?
That I enjoyed my life? Huh?
No.
That I was afraid?
No.
No? No? How could I not be afraid?
I wasn't even allowed to have any friends.
Make a left over there.
I never thought about running away because I was too afraid.
Do you mind driving a bit slower?
What for? Aren't I supposed to die? Huh?
If you wait a couple more minutes you could die alone.
I'm sorry.
1:35 P.M.
So what do you think?
You mean I jump from up here?
Oh come on, Tinoco.
Don't you see the railway line down there?
What do you think of the train... running you over?
Are you comfortable?
Yeah. It's not bad.
But I'd rather be tied up.
It's not that I don't want to, I just don't have the guts!
I'm not sure I'll be able to see the train coming and not run away!
I'm afraid you can't do that.
Later on, when your body is found, it could seem like it was a homicide.
Tinoco, let me just say that I think you are very brave.
You've proven that you're strong enough already! And confident!
There's no need to worry.
I trust you.
You are a man of your word!
And now? What do we do?
We wait.
Do you like toast?
No.
Is it gonna be much longer?
It's almost time.
How long?
Five, ten minutes.
Can I wait standing up?
No, no, no, no, no. Don't be impatient.
Tell me about Mariana. I haven't quite got it yet.
When I was fifteen I felt lonely.
I couldn't have any friends, there was no Internet or mobile phones yet.
The days were long and I felt really lousy.
Tinoco, come here quickly!
I just thought it was time for another head butting.
Son, we brought you a sister.
As the years went by, she became a part of me.
She made me understand that life also brings happiness.
Then one day, everything changed.
Ladder,
hose.
Fireman.
Lips.
There's something we need to tell you.
You say it, dear.
Wouldn't you rather do it, dear?
Your mother and I have decided that you are no longer necessary.
When I heard this I thought they were going to kill me.
So we're going to kidnap another kid and let you go.
Perhaps it would be better if you returned to your family.
This will always be your home.
So what happened? Did you go back home?
How was it, going back? Can you hear me, Tinoco?
Are you thinking about her?
No.
Is it still going to be long?
Let's go.
Excuse me?
We're leaving. There's probably a strike.
I don't think I quite follow you.
I'm telling you. There's probably a strike.
We've been here long enough
for you to have been run over by at least three trains.
Are you sure?
Fuck, man!!
It's probably the first time someone doesn't kill themselves due to a strike.
Workers of the world... Fuck yourselves!
You're looking at me?
Huh?
What do you want me to do with this?
Take the rock and crush my skull.
I can't.
Just take the rock and crush my skull!
That wouldn't be a suicide.
That would be assisted death, euthanasia!
For your information it's still not legal in Portugal.
Fucking politicians!
It's because of people like you that people like me want to kill themselves.
I don't wanna have to see her with someone else.
I know another place.
No.
This time, I choose. I couldn't stand to fail again.
Come on, Tinoco, give me another chance.
No!
Third time's the charm!
6:48 P.M.
Listen, Tinoco, I am a lot sorrier than you
about not having finished this business yet.
Good thing you like water!
Dig a hole please.
Soon you'll be resting in peace.
How deep do you want the hole?
I don't know... as long as you can fit inside it.
Take it easy! Hold on.
This is it! This is it!
How about if you dig another hole further down? Huh?
Good idea! Huh?
Isn't the water coming any further?
Well it was supposed to be high tide at 6:02.
The world is upside down, you know?
Was everything all right?
How about coffee? Will you be having any?
Is it for me? How sweet!
I was just passing by this shop and... I thought you might like it.
A nail clipper?!
Do you like it?
Why a nail clipper?
I don't know! Don't you women like those kinds of things?
Poor thing... so sensitive!
I was scared you were gonna ask me to marry you!
Now what? Do you wanna go somewhere, have a drink?
I can't. I'm meeting someone who's probably already waiting outside.
I've finally found someone I really like.
I'll introduce you sometime.
That's when my world ended.
I really have to go.
I'll call you later.
Thanks for dinner.
You're welcome!
Congratulations!
Now, Tinoco! This is it!!
Now what? Now what?
Now try to swallow some water, it's faster that way.
Try to swallow some water, that's right!
Swallow some water! Go on! Good job, good! Good!
And now what?
We'll have to wait for the next set.
What?!
Do you have any idea how boring this is? Huh?
This is agony!
Get me out of here!
Take it easy.
Get me out of here.
Calm down!
Aaah! Get me out of here.
-Are you thinking about her? -No!
I know a place...
This time it's going to be the way I want it.
And guess what? It's not gonna fail.
There's no turning back.
Tinoco!
Mr. Cruz Morte... It's been a pleasure!
I don't suppose you'd mind waiting for me down there?!
Good luck, Tinoco.
Many times it's only when you die that you realize how valuable life is.
Have you ever died?
Tinoco...
You might need this.
8:00 P.M.
Good evening!
One more step and I'll jump.
You're here to jump?
Luís Tinoco, nice to meet you. Hmm!?
Would you mind if I jumped with you?
May I ask your name?
Xavier.
And might I know why, Xavier?
It's a good reason.
I'm ready.
Just a little longer.
Hey, don't be nervous.
Dying is a part of life.
And choosing to die is the supreme affirmation of human liberty.
Man is the only animal who can choose between life and death.
It's noble, it's all about courage!
Is there anyone you know down there?
Sort of.
I think I see my wife.
Really?
She must be worried.
She doesn't love me.
Do you eat toast?
Sure.
And do you eat the middle part?
The middle?
Yeah, the middle of the toast.
Of course, it's the best part!
Now listen carefully.
Would you be able to give that middle bit to someone?
I always gave mine to Mariana, you only do that for someone you love.
I always ask for toast with no crust.
So there's no middle bit.
There are six middle bits.
The middle isn't just the center of the toast.
It's a concept, ok?
Something worth suffering for.
You eat the crust so that you can then enjoy the middle.
Eating or giving away the middle are different philosophies of life,
if you'd rather give it away it means you're willing to share.
In your case, Xavier, it means you're selfish.
You want to have it all.
So you think that it's me who doesn't love her?
That I don't care?
Yes. And I think that should be the reason you're doing this.
And don't try and blame your poor wife, who is down there, suffering.
Tinoco, Tinoco, Tinoco....
I'm ready.
One... two...
Would you mind if I did the counting? It's easier for me.
Ok! That's fine.
One...
Two...
I forgot my goodbye letter.
Here. You can have mine...
But why are you doing this?
Hey, it's a long story.
But I'm sure it'll do for you too.
Yes, but what is the reason?
It doesn't matter. It's a long story.
But there must be a reason...
I can't stand the thought of seeing the woman I love with another man.
Why don't you just kill her?
Ok. Let's do it.
One...
Two...
Three!
And there I went...
To be honest, I don't really know why I did it...
and I'm not quite sure whether I regretted it before or after the jump...
But it was too late...
In one second I'll be dead.
I should have just killed her.
Translation: Sofia Slotboom.